To my princess

My dearest Kylie Brielle,

Sweet angel, words could never begin to express how much you are loved and missed. Your life was and is a blessing to me and your daddy, and not a day goes by that we don't think of you OFTEN.

Today, I stood by bed 11 in the NICU... well to me, it will always be YOUR bed. It was your home. It is where you lived... and where you died. I thought it would be easier to stand there... but it wasn't. At that exact moment, I think for a few moments, I missed you more than I have EVER missed you in my life. I think for a moment, I hurt more than I have ever hurt. It was a realization that you are truly gone, that you are truly in Heaven... A realization that your life was so terribly short...

October 15, 2009 will never leave my mind. The sounds, the events... the emotions. It will always be a difficult day. It will always be something I remember.

But in all of that pain, all of that grief... all of that overwhelming sense of hopelessness and despair... I have you. You, my beautiful princess, are priceless. There is nothing and no one in this world more special or more beautiful than you.

For my entire life, no one will ever take your place. No one will ever be you.

I just wanted to remind you of a special phrase that always makes me think of you:
"On the night you were born,
the moon shone with such wonder
that the stars peeked in
to see you
and the night wind whispered,
'Life will never be the same.'

Because there had never been
anyone like you...
ever in the world."

Sweet girl, that is so true. I was in awe of you, and you still put me in awe of your grace, beauty and wonder.

Yesterday, I saw a billboard on a church. This church has a way with sayings that get to you- I often write them down. This one said: "Blessed is the influence of one loving soul on another." I feel that you have influenced me in so many special ways, and you are influencing so many others in many beautiful ways. Your life is a gift, and your memory is going to live on for everyone to benefit from. You live even in death, as your spirit will never fade. You, my sweet baby girl, are truly an angel.

I am so blessed to be your Mommy, and so blessed to have you as my child. I love you with every single fiber of my being, and I miss you so badly it hurts. You are perfect, and mine, and I am so proud to be your Mommy.

As always, be sweet, my princess.

With sincere love,

Your Mommy